Therapy shopping can be fun or your worst nightmare.
I remember in my early 20s when I was looking for a therapist. It was exhausting telling my story over and over and over again until I found the right therapist. There were times I left an office, knowing for sure that I would not be back. So, I am here to support you with some helpful insight when finding a therapist and save you some time.
- Know your reason why.
Be clear about what you want to get out of therapy. Define the areas of your life and daily functioning that do not reflect what you want in life. Be honest with yourself about your career, relationship dynamics, history, trauma, etc. When you hold back, you are only fooling yourself and cheating yourself out of real change, so be honest. Know ahead of time what you want your goals to be. This is helpful when considering telling your story over and over. It allows you to be clear about the goals you want to achieve. So, be clear and concise about what brought you to therapy. For example, “I realized various dynamics in my personal, professional, and relationship were on different roads than I wanted to heal, and I’m looking to get on the same page. It is starting to feel overwhelming and surfacing in various areas of my life”. You may consult with many therapists, so it is important to keep your needs concise to avoid feeling emotional and mental fatigue from telling your reason for therapy multiple times.
- Know what you need.
Every therapist has a different style and strategy for conducting therapy. Some therapists may be straight shooters, while others have a roundabout approach. For these reasons, knowing what you want in a therapist is important. If you prefer someone who tells it like it is but with sensitivity, then utilize this preference when you vet the consultation. Consider whether you like a therapist who is down to earth or who provides scientific information. This is part of knowing your healing style the same way that you know your learning style.
- Find a therapist whose services and specialties reflect that need.
Be mindful of the services and specialties the therapist offers in their profile. For example, if you are feeling overwhelmed by the day-to-day tasks and obligations of life, you are looking for a therapist with an anxiety specialty clearly stated. Some therapists have specialties that are not listed. In that case, email to inquire if their profile seems like a fit.
- Request a Consultation.
Some people jump right in and schedule an intake appointment. For some people, this may work. For others, intake takes up a lot of time and personal sharing, and there is the risk that it may not be a good life. A 15-minute consultation preserves time, is sufficient to determine whether the therapist is a match and eliminates repeated sharing. Be confident and clear about what you want in a therapist. Ask about insurance and payment methods. After all, this is the person you will be on your healing journey with. Measure for comfortability. Take notes! AND ask for steps to move forward depending on your desire to schedule right then and there or take time to think.
- Post-Consultation.
If you are one of those people who feels comfortable enough to book after the consultation, go for it! However, there is nothing wrong with taking your time to reflect on the consultation and your notes. Once you feel comfortable with your decision, schedule an intake.
I have heard so many people say, “I was looking for a therapist and then gave up because I did not find a fit.” The important aspect to remember is that this is your journey. Your goal is to heal, and if that takes 10 consultations, then so be it. You are looking for a therapist who is compatible with you. It’s like the saying, “You may kiss a few frogs before you find a price” or “You’ll have to try on every slipper until you find your Cinderella.” In this case, you may have to complete a few consultations before you find your healer”. Don’t rush the process; your well-being is worth the effort.
Final Thoughts
Seeking therapy is a courageous step towards better mental health. While finding the right therapist can be challenging, it’s a critical part of the journey. Be patient with yourself and the process.
Trust that the right support is out there for you. Embrace the journey, and remember, you deserve to feel better and live a fulfilling life. Take the leap and start your path to mental wellness today.
